i'm a photographer. and this is my blog.

50 Reasons Not to Date a Photographer with 50 Comebacks

a few days ago a friend posted a link to a blog that had an post entitled ”50 Reasons Not to Date a Photographer” (http://notastarvingartist.com/post/12766897643) 

After posting on my facebook wall cause it’s a good laugh, I received some flack for it from a couple friends and was challenged to come up with a list of reasons TO date a photographer. So I decided to take those 50 reasons and have a response to each and everyone of them. (the original 50 reasons not are numbered with my response bulleted)

so…

  • 50 Reasons Not to Date a Photographer…

    With 50 comebacks to prove otherwise.

    1. They rather hold their bulky camera, than hold hands with you.

    •  What photographer doesn’t use a camera strap? And if they’re taking that

    many pictures then they wouldn’t notice if you left.

    2. On a romantic date, you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go “mirror lock, tripod, and stop down f/8 at 1/125.”

    •  Yea and then they’ll probably frame it so that everytime you look at the photo

    you’ll be reminded of great they are and how great the date was.

    3. You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws.

    •  ok 1. that’s a cocky photographer and 2. if they’re gonna do that why aren’t 

    they the ones taking the photo?

    4. They like to sit in obscure coffee shop and voyeuristically watch people for great lengths of time.

    •  that’s not just a habit of photographers. it’s called people watching, but most 

    likely they’re just waiting for you to be free to hang out.

    5. If you’re taking a walk outside and you come across some “interesting light” they will make you sit/stand/pose in public so that they can take a photo.

    •  yea and no one else will ever be able to make you feel that beautiful when they

    start posting the photo all over their website

    6. You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations of the same dish with their iPhone.

    •  ok if they’re taking 20 variations, they’re avoiding the food cause it doesn’t 

    look very tasty

    7. They get angry when your friends go up to them and say “I am interested in photography, can you recommend a good camera for me?  Nothing professional I just want to take pretty pictures.”

    •  if you’re a nurse would you want people coming up to you all the time and 

    asking “hey i have these symptoms… what do i have?” it’s annoying for any professional

    8. You’ll wait longer for them to finish analyzing art in a museum than you’ll wait at the dmv

    •  i’m sorry but i’m not gonna date someone who doesn’t appreciate art

    9. Same goes with old used bookstores.

    • again… if they don’t love the smell of books, it’s gonna be tough to love them

    10. When you think they’re giving you their undivided attention, they’re really wondering how they could fix you with a little Clone Tool and Patch Tool.

    •  not true, they’re looking at ever facet of your face and being amazed at how

    beautiful you are and every unique feature that you haven’t even noticed

    11. Or they are actually using you to not look so creepy as they people watch everything going on around you.

    •  yea maybe, but who bought you the coffee in your hand?

    12. They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than a purse for you.

    • if they have that kind of money after taking you out all the time, let them. 

    13. You can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more.

    •  everyone has a “most flattering angle” consider it a favor.

    14. If you ask them if you look fat, they’ll say “don’t worry I can photoshop you later.”

    •  a good photographer knows what angles you don’t look fat in and if they get one where you do look fat, you’ll never see it.

    15. They’ll never photoshop something simple for you if the content is not up to their “standards.”

    •  mmm maybe… but if you try and do it yourself, i’ll end up doing it for you

    16. That photo they randomly took of you yesterday?  Good luck getting them to send it to you.

    • be a little intuitive please, check their blog, it’s already up if it’s good

    17. They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn.)

    •  what part of emailing clients, editing photos, doing financial stuff isn’t on computers… and really taking pictures is only about %20 of being a photographer

    18. They can’t have a normal conversation with throwing acronyms and random numbers.

    • yea we’ll throw the f/stops and shutter speeds out in the middle of a conversation. but only if there’s another photographer in the conversation

    19. They still use film cameras.

    • um yea. i don’t see that as a problem…

    20. They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you i.e. models, actors, musicians, successful rich people.

    • and yet they still come home to you or call you when they get home, you must be INCREDIBLE if you’re lucky enough to date a photographer

    21. They’ll be fussy over the position of a common household object, like a coffee cup.

    • yea and you’ll get compliments on how great your place looks anytime you have people over

    22. They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still posting pics on Instagram.

    • i can’t say this one applies to me at all. if i don’t respond i’m either working or dead

    23. They like watching old films that you’ve never heard or will ever understand.

    • and when it’s brought up at a friends house you’ll never have to say “i haven’t seen it” and deal with all of the gasps and “OMG what?!”s

    24. They like looking at weird things in general.

    • if you’re not taking time to look at everything, then man you are missing out on so much in life!

    25. Instead of having penis-envy, they have camera-gear-envy.

    •  it’s cause they don’t need to have penis-envy ;)

    26. If there’s a natural disaster in a far away land, they’re already on a plane going over there.

    • photographers and photojournalists are two totally different people/types

    27. Everything is watermarked.

    • sure sign of an amateur. look at any professional’s website to confirm

    28. They think everyone else’s photos suck.

    • it’s cause they do. but if they’re your pictures, we’ll never tell you

    29. They want to color correct a lot of scenes from Twilight and Jersey Shore.

    • yea cause they’re CRAP

    30. They hate rainbows, especially ones spinning in a circle.

    • meaning they’re cool enough to own a mac. and who doesn’t hate a frozen computer?

    31. Whenever you’re in a group talking and the conversation goes deep, they’re taking notes in some form of Moleskine.

    • no they’re not. they’re staying out of the conversation and probably doodling 

    32. They use over priced Moleskine notebooks.

    • yea cause they’re plain, black, and you can get them in any shape or size that you could possibly want.

    33. They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings filled with health hazards.

    • again… i don’t see this as a reason to not date a photographer. just means they’ve seen some pretty awesome stuff in their days

    34.They always want to show a new photo they took, but don’t really care if you like it or not.

    • if we’re showing you, it’s good. do you know how many thousands of frames we take that no one will ever see

    35. They hate your n00bie friend’s new artsy profile picture.

    • yea cause it’s probably a selective color and just too forced

    36. Bright, sunny days make them sad, but cloudy, overcast days are apparently great!

    • hmm ya know i don’t think i’d like to stay in bed or cuddle on a bright sunny day so take advantage ;)

    37. They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged.

    • and they’ll never let anything happen to you, and it’ll get your heart racing and when you get home you’ll think it was an awesome experience that you’ll probably brag about on your facebook status

    38. Your birthday present will be a portrait that they’ve taken of you.

    • hmmm probably not a portrait of you.. but it’ll be a photo they took. and who doesn’t want beautiful, original artwork on their wall?

    39. You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything.

    • again, if in your that big a rush in a new place, SLOW DOWN

    40. They will always bug you to be a test subject.

    • yea, you’ll never be in need of AMAZING facebook profile pictures agai

    41. Nothing can ever be naturally pretty, everything must be fixed in Photoshop.

    • amateur. real photographers did it on film in the old days, real photographers don’t need photoshop in these days

    42. Bringing their camera means, bringing 50lbs of equipment.

    • true, which means we’ll only bring it if it’s ABSOLUTELY necessary 

    43. If you break any of their things on accident, you’ll owe them thousands of dollars.

    • amateur again. every professional has insurance on their gear

    44. You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500

    • not true. and when you get them something you know they’ll like for less than $500 they’ll love you even more cause they didn’t ask for it

    45. They are natural hoarders, collecting and keeping piles of old newspapers, packaging, magazines, and other things that “inspire” them.

    • that’s what coffee tables are for… and we only keep the pretty stuff

    46. They are weird and geeky.

    • and you’ll never find someone else as adorably quirky :)

    47. They have hard drives of photos, but probably have printed 10 images.

    • hey at least it’s not piling up and making their place look bad

    48. They are always secretly judging your creativity.

    • but we will ALWAYS encourage you

    49. If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you.

    • but then they’ll teach you how to take a better photo and you’ll be thrilled

    50. They orgasm every time they learn a new lighting technique.

    • don’t worry… they’ll do the same for you once you get home ;)
  1. plriley posted this